After the End
by misanoe
Summary: The curse is broken and Akito was dealt with. It's been three years since Rin took off in an attempt to lead a normal life and leave the past behind her. Shigure shows up and disrupts her plans.


*Author's notes: I've watched the anime and have read only snippets of the manga, so some of what I wrote may not fit. It's okay though, I can live with discrepancies.*  
  
***  
  
She absently tucked a piece of hair that escaped from her thick loosening braid, behind her right ear. It never mattered how tight she pulled her hair in the morning, by mid afternoon smooth strands seemed to unwind by their own violation.  
  
It drove her crazy. She looked at her surroundings; maybe it was this place that was driving her crazy. She couldn't tell anymore- the tedium of today always seemed to seep into the next and she felt like she had been ensnared in a murky swamp. Each step into tomorrow pulled her deeper into this inescapable pit of normalcy.  
  
She wondered if she was the only person who felt this trapped in what felt like a sorry excuse of an existence. She sighed, the curse may have been broken but she somehow managed to maintain that signature quality particular to freaks of natures.  
  
"Rin," called a gentle voice behind her. She felt warm arms encircle her waist and still she marveled at the miracle of human touch without fear of retribution. She leaned her back against his hard chest, wishing to god those hands didn't feel like steel bars boxing her in a bleak cage.  
  
She allowed him to twist her around to face him, his lips caressing hers. Her eyes were shut tight; she wouldn't allow herself to open them knowing the sight that would greet her. Eyes shining brightly- so much tenderness, so much love she couldn't reciprocate.  
  
***  
  
She looked so young.  
  
Shigure watched her from his distance. There was so much to do the months that followed, he barely missed her. Afterwards, when the dust began to settle, the novelty of a new life kept him entertained and he did not think to look so far. In a heartbeat, three years passed by, the faint whisper of her memory barely lingering in his ears.  
  
Her hair was still long, pulled neatly back from her face to exude a vulnerability he had never been privy to. The Rin he had known was razor sharp, a tough exterior protecting her from the rigors that came hand in hand with being a dually blessed and cursed Juunishi. Back then, there had been no room for softness.  
  
Gone was the heavy makeup, the tight provocative clothing, the calculating gleam in her eyes as she mocked the world. She almost looked as ordinary as this town.  
  
He should leave, he told himself. Let her live out her life in peace. It's what they fought so hard for. What they sacrificed so much for- this one goal. It wasn't fair for him to appear in the life she chose for herself. A life that deliberately did not include the people she left behind- him.  
  
He should leave, but he wouldn't. Wasn't this what he gave so many years to- choice, decisions, freewill. She could have hers, but so would he.  
  
Dualistic natures, dualistic lives- she was the only one who ever saw the other side of the coin. Hatori suspected, Ayame may have guessed, but it was Rin who knew. Rin who had seen the dark and the darker.  
  
She had never gone out of her way to hide her character. Unlike him, she had worn her nature like a badge. What you saw was what you got.  
  
Shigure had been playing for so long he wasn't sure which one of his extreme personalities was covering the other. How had it begun, why hadn't it ended, valid questions he could not answer. He was immersed in a caricature he built years ago- lost in a funhouse with no sight of a door.  
  
He wondered what she would do if she saw him. Would she stop and greet him as an old friend, family, lover? Would she glance over him, walk past him without sparing a sign of resignation.  
  
What would he say to her?  
  
He saw her body tense, ears perked as though she felt him nearby. Turning around, she craned her head and spotted him.  
  
It looked like he was going to find out.  
  
***  
  
"It's been a long time, Shigure," she greeted. "How did you know where to look?"  
  
"Hiro."  
  
Rin looked mildly surprised.  
  
"I coerced Kisa into convincing Hiro it was a necessity for us to contact you," he explained.  
  
"Still using others to serve your purpose, I see," she stated. For an amazingly bright boy, Hiro managed to turn into a dolt whenever Kisa was around. Rin shrugged to herself. She hadn't really meant to keep her whereabouts a secret; she just hadn't bothered to send out a beacon call to her relatives.  
  
Shigure was oddly silent. She looked at him. How odd, she thought, he almost seemed pained at her half-joking expression. "It wasn't like that," he answered.  
  
"Does it matter?" asked Rin. "As long as it's for the better cause, who minds who gets rolled over. You never did before."  
  
"We all did things we wouldn't have done otherwise. We had no choice. I had no choice," he said.  
  
Rin's smile was filled with irony. "A regular slave to destiny."  
  
"It wasn't just for me. It was for all of us, including you. I didn't take any particular joy out of playing with other people's lives," he said.  
  
"I know." Rin sighed, her shoulders drooping slightly in weariness. "I really do understand. So stop trying to explain it away. It doesn't suit us."  
  
"You're right," he agreed. He looked at her hard, thoughtfully. "You've grown older."  
  
"I was born old," she stated. "We all were." Rin thought back to the others, each with their own sob story messed up enough to turn into a soap opera. "How are they?"  
  
"Adjusting. Give them another lifetime and they might learn how to be happy," said Shigure.  
  
Rin laughed at that comment. Figures. They hadn't cured them after all. But at least they could try to heal. She would never forget that, didn't think any of them ever would.  
  
"How are you?" he asked carefully.  
  
She lifted an eyebrow. He was just full of surprises today. "Is that concern in your voice?" she asked, her eyes slightly mocking.  
  
"I did care about you," he said, face unfathomable as she tried to read him. When he set his mind to it, she could never read him.  
  
She gave up and shrugged. "Did you then? You had a funny way of showing it," her voice was a little harsh.  
  
"Should I have bought you chocolates and flowers?" he asked.  
  
"Why would you?" she said. "That would imply you had a romantic interest in me." Her eyes were cool. "And we both knew that wasn't true. Ours was a strictly professional relationship to accomplish one goal. 'Keep close the enemy of my enemy'," she quoted.  
  
"Maybe if I babied you, you wouldn't be so pissed at me right now," he answered harshly. He sounded angry.  
  
"If I thought I had any support, I wouldn't have been strong enough to perform my part in our little play." She looked at him beneath thick eyelashes. "But you knew that."  
  
"I really did hurt you." It was half a question, half statement.  
  
She turned her head sharply away from his. She would not go down this path again. "We were using each other. Feelings be damned." Her shrug was nonchalant, putting an end to the subject.  
  
Shigure sighed. "We're only human."  
  
"You and I combined don't share enough qualities to make one human," was her quick derisive reply.  
  
The way he smiled showed he agreed with her. "What a pair we made."  
  
"Did we qualify as one?" she asked thoughtfully. "I always thought we resembled two spies forming a temporary partnership to fulfill the same objective through different means. Both paranoid, manipulative, cold and calculating people constantly second guessing the other's move."  
  
"That's one way to look at it."  
  
"It's the only way I see it."  
  
"What are you doing here?" he asked.  
  
"I'm this month's saleswoman at the only clothing store," she said, deliberately misunderstanding his question.  
  
"Rin..."  
  
"Shigure," she copied.  
  
That shut him up for a minute. They stood in silence until he spoke, a slight smile on his face. "No more Gure-ni?"  
  
"I think we can abandon the labels," she answered dryly. "I don't want anything from you anymore." Her voice became serious. "I'm tired of dancing with you, Shigure. Why are you here?"  
  
"Why aren't you with Haru?" he asked.  
  
"Funny thing is," she said, "if you push hard enough, you actually turn the person away. Go figure." She knew she was being unnecessarily sarcastic, but topics that hit close to home always made her defensive. In addition, a part of her blamed Shigure for the unfixable gap between Hatsuharu and her. He knew this too. His casual question made her inexplicably angry. It felt like he was trying to tell her she could now resume her relationship with Hatsuharu. It was all dandy now that she had Shigure's blessing that had been denied so long ago. Bastard, she thought. For a split second, she really did hate him. Then she remembered the why and the hate ebbed away to a deep self-loathing.  
  
Whatever promise of the love she shared with Hatsuharu was now unsalvageable. Though he now understood her reasons, there was nothing she could say that could take back the hurtful words and actions she used to push him away. They separated them, an invisible, impenetrable barrier.  
  
She had hoped for so much. After everything was done, she ended up loosing the one thing she was trying to protect. She hadn't realized it at the time. She was so stupid to think everything would be forgotten and forgiven. All actions have consequences.  
  
Life could truly be the biggest bitch of all.  
  
She didn't want to think about it anymore. This well-worn path of thoughts always ended up the same- unalterable, unbearable regret.  
  
She looked up at Shigure. "You didn't come all the way here to ask me why I wasn't with Haru."  
  
"No," he agreed.  
  
Rin wordlessly waited for him to continue. Whatever he came to say he would do on his own. She'd danced with him enough times to know trying to wheedle or force information out of Shigure was like ramming your head into a granite wall. Totally pointless and prone to causing massive headaches.  
  
"What are you doing here Rin?" he asked again.  
  
"Trying to forget," she said. "Learning what I really want out of life."  
  
"And what's that?"  
  
"I never want to play another game," she honestly replied. "I'm tired of the deceit, the tricks. I want to live a normal life and disappear into the obscurity of this average town. I want to pretend my life up to now was one horrible nightmare I'll someday wake up from."  
  
"We didn't do what we did so you could sink into oblivion."  
  
"What I did it for is gone. You were expecting the fairy tale ending?" she paused, looking at him expectantly. "What did you want out of all of this?"  
  
"My own life to share with someone who knows me," he immediately replied.  
  
She laughed. "Is that why you're here? Am I that someone who knows you?" She was being sarcastic, had expected him to join in her crazy laughter at the picture of such a bizarre situation. He didn't. She noticed his body tense, an almost imperceptible change that gave away his discomfort. She had struck a nerve. "I get it," she finally said. "You're looking for the only other person as fucked up in the head as you are. And here I am."  
  
He didn't answer her, didn't even look at her.  
  
"Like you said, what a couple we would make," she drolled on. "Always suspicious of the other, wondering what hidden motives there might be to every action. We know each other too well to ever trust each other."  
  
Shigure finally met her inquisitive stare with a grin. "It would be such a solid foundation for a relationship."  
  
She looked at him as if he was crazy. "You're serious, aren't you?"  
  
He sighed. "Very serious, I'm afraid."  
  
"Why?" She couldn't think of anything else to say.  
  
"You're right," he said. "We wouldn't trust each other. We'd probably drive ourselves crazy trying to decipher what was going on in the other's mind."  
  
"That's it?" she asked, a delicate eyebrow lifted in disbelief. "You want us to start a relationship based on the fact we can't trust each other."  
  
"No," he answered. He looked at her, a hand raised to gently tug at a strand of her hair. "It's because you know not to trust me."  
  
What scared her most was that in his own twisted way, he made sense. She looked at him, trying to decipher the feelings he evoked when he was near. There was such a fine line between hate and love, she couldn't tell which side he rested on. Maybe both. If he propositioned her with this a year ago, she would have told him to go to hell. A month ago, she would have laughed and possibly never stop.  
  
He stood silent, patiently waiting for her to reach her own decision. Maybe he knew her better then she thought, because he had come to her today, at this minute when she finally realized she could never live the normal live with the ordinary man. God, but this man had perfect timing.  
  
Her heart leapt in her throat as she jumped off the ledge. "Okay," she answered.  
  
She could see the relief in his eyes.  
  
***  
  
In the passenger side of his car, they drove without a word, her luggage stuffed in the back seat. She'd send for the rest when they were back home. It had been so long, and soon she'd be seeing them all once again. A deep fear clenched her heart and stole the air in her lungs.  
  
She closed her eyes, forcing her breath to be steady and calm. Rin didn't know what she was doing. All she knew was that Shigure had made her feel more in an hour then she had felt in the past three years, and for now, that was more than enough.  
  
***  
  
~Finished~ (I have too many fics in the work to make this more then a one shot) 


End file.
